Quotes, Song and Thoughts of the Week | June 2nd

“Ladies, until a man has actually done something to make you dislike or not trust him don’t make him pay for the troubles another man caused.”

 

(Loving this song right now)

Hey guys! Hope you all had a great week and stayed safe if you were in the nasty storms. My anxiety has been off the chart this week, but I am working on “Exposure therapy”. 😬 I refuse to give in. I refuse to just wake, work, sleep… hide. I want to LIVE. I feel like I am slowly losing myself.  “Recover me Lord and make me live!” 🙏🏻😭 (My verse for the week).

I went to Church for the first time in a long time. DollFace and her husband found a Church that they like. DollFace has been wanting me to check it out. Brother Stuart encouraged me to go back to Church and I finally did! I REALLY liked it too. The music/worship was good and the pastor wasn’t an… ear tickler. I was surprised. The people were so nice. So, instead of staying home and watching my favorite preachers on YouTube, I got all “Dolled up” and went to Church. I’m so glad I did. 💕 I even took a selfie (it’s in the collage). I don’t take very many pictures of myself. I hide from the camera. 😬

Sigh… here is some raw truth for you 😮…. I can get up at 5:30 a.m. and I can “show up” for life. I can pour love all over my family in everything I do. I can hand out unconditional love and unlimited forgiveness all day long. I can even get all made up and slay my meetings. I can deal with people who don’t really give a rat’s behind about me and I am still willing to storm through Hell with a water pistol for the people I love. I’m very good at putting on a smile and having my… “stuff” 😉 together. People have no idea that I am in constant pain and that I cry and fall apart. 😓 They have no idea that I can’t even look at myself for very long in the mirror and that I will actually turn around and face the wall while flossing my teeth. 😔 My anxiety is THAT bad somedays and it takes A LOT to make myself sit at my beautiful vanity to do my make up. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I need God 24/7 and I am NOTHING without Him. If anyone out there deals with anything like this, you are not alone. {{hugs}} 💕

My 2nd quote for the week:

“I can do without a lot of things, but I cannot do anything without Jesus.” ~ Rev. Jentezen Franklin

On a more positive note, the weather has been gorgeous here! 😊I can’t get enough of the sunshine and the palms. I know it will be very hot soon and I will not want to go on any walks until Autumn. The girls and I went out for ice cream. DollFace had vanilla with strawberries, my baby girl had vanilla and I had peanut butter salted caramel. It was good! To end the week, we had our once a week “Girl’s night” in while my son-in-law had a “Boy’s night”. DollFace says it helps to do this once a week. The girls had their usual pizza from Costco and I had a HUGE salad. It was good! We binge watched shows and DollFace did sissy’s nails. I was too tired to do mine and I fell asleep… AGAIN. 😬🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve been taking my vitamins and trying to drink lots of water this week. I’m hoping it helps. 

I was watching a famous athlete being interviewed on TV. He was talking about his life. I was completely captivated and I had to watch the whole thing. I find myself falling in love with men who are… bad boys and cannot overcome their addictions. The man on TV had a drug problem and has supposedly had sex with at least 2,000 women. He also cheated on his wife. They are not together anymore, but she was there for him when he almost died. They found him in a brothel and he was a very bad boy. He said, “She’s my Angel.”

I had a wave of emotion come over me and I felt so bad for the guy. I could see the pain in his eyes and I understood what he meant. It was all too familiar. You see, my Man calls me his “Angel” and “a beautiful Angel” all the time. I just shake my head, because I know better. I do not feel beautiful at all, I feel like I have failed him and I know there is nothing I can do to “Save” him. Well, I thought I knew better until this week. When I heard that man on TV say she was his Angel, I was stunned. For the first time, looking at this guy and his eyes when he said that… I finally understood. Looking at that man, I saw it. Even more… I felt it. Maybe loving certain men (bad boys/addicts) the way I do and having undeserved, overwhelming compassion for them the way I do… is being an “Angel”? Maybe I do not feel like an “Angel” partly because I have given up trying to “save” him. I am focused on trying to “save” myself. In that process though, I cannot stop feeling and I refuse to believe there is absolutely no hope. When it come to romance, I am a hopeless romantic… I always will be. When it comes to my Men and their problems, I will always be there for them. Always. I’m just not going to be in the living room floor on my knees anymore… for any man.

I’ve had men treat me good… really good and I have men treat me bad… really bad. I found myself telling my Man that he doesn’t love me when he says he does. I found myself telling him that I’m not beautiful when he tells me I am. I did not… trust. I did not understand why a man would love me and I definitely did not think I was beautiful. Sometime’s we women make the next guy pay for the sins of the man/men before him. It’s not fair at all. Brother Stuart had mentioned something in one of his post about men telling their women they are beautiful and us not believing them. He was talking about how it affects them when we deny what they say to us. I’m not a “words person”, possibly because words have meant nothing or were too confusing. My Ex-husband would say something soooo hurtful and then say the exact opposite with his behavior. I’ve had men lie to me and I never know when to believe what they said. I took brother Stuart’s advice. When I catch myself not believing my Man, I am learning to say, “Thank you.” instead of, “No!!!”. Oh, and thanks to a certain athlete, I will no longer shake my head when my Man calls me his “Angel”. 

 

 

*Ice cream with my girls at Culver’s, my new vitamins and a breakfast smoothie from Salad and Go (My favorite!!!), the palm trees on my evening walk, a text from my Man where I finally just said, “Thank you”, the selfie I took on my way to Church, Girl’s night pizza and salad, another palm tree on my walk, my salad and my verse for the week. 

Have a great week everyone! I’ll try to get some writing finished and posted this week. Thank you so much for stopping by. I love you guys. 💋 God bless you! ðŸ™ðŸ»ðŸ’•

Amazed By His Grace, 

Purple Rose 

 

Quote, Song and Thoughts of the Week| May 26th

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8 thoughts on “Quotes, Song and Thoughts of the Week | June 2nd

  1. Stuart L. Tutt says:

    I am so glad you went to church and that you enjoyed being there. I’m also glad the pastor is not an ear tinkler!

    It looks you three always have a blast on girl’s night!❤ Thanks for sharing snippets of the night with us.

    I love the photo too by the way! Great picture!!

    You are you Man’s angel. Because you love him despite his self. And he knows it. Your gift from the Lord is your heart and the love you give others even amongst your hurt.

    It’s Christ like love…unconditional..

    I am both honored and humbled by your kind words sis. Even now when I tell Angie that she is beautiful she just giggles and says yeah right. Because the last guy she was with said those words but never proved them in his actions.

    All I say back is yeah you are beautiful because I have seen you and I know you intimately…you ARE beautiful.

    Just as your Man has seen you and knows you intimately. He is saying what his heart desires for you to know in as few of words as possible as to not mess up the words from his heart to his mouth.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Purple Rose says:

      Me too! It was so good to be in the presence of the Lord and with so many other believers. That is something I really miss watching online only. Praise and worship is my favorite.

      We have so much fun on Girl’s night!!! 🙂 I just keep falling asleep lately. I’m glad you like the little snippets. I thought it would be fun to take pics during the week and make a collage. I got the collage idea from you. 😉

      Thank you! ❤ I am always hesitant to post any photos of myself. I kinda liked that one.

      My gift is my heart… wow.

      Thank you so much for giving a peek inside the male heart/mind and helping me understand things about men that puzzle me. No man has ever taken the time to help me understand why men act the way they do or why they say the things they do.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Dollfaced Writer says:

    Ice cream!!! That was so much fun! I love girl’s night with you and sissy! I love you guys 🤗❤

    You have been through so much yet you are still able to be strong and love everyone around you. Even when you feel most anxious, you’re stronger than you know. I don’t know how you do it. I think Stuart is definitely right about your heart 💜 you’re more amazing than you’ll ever realize.

    Liked by 2 people

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