“There are no simple love stories. If it’s simple, it’s not love. If it’s love, it’ll get complicated.”
Waking up early that morning in the cabin and finding my boyfriend, Mr. Bodyguard laying across the foot of the bed startled me. What was he doing in here alone with me? I looked over and my mother wasn’t next to me. Why on earth was she gone and why would she let him be alone with me? I was frantic. I spoke to him and he got up. I think he was already awake and just waiting for me to wake up. He left the room as I was freaking out. I knew I was gonna be in soooo much trouble. I walked out to the living room and there sat my mother looking at me. I was puzzled and almost apologetic. She said nothing about it and Mr. Bodyguard looked like he couldn’t wait to leave. I got ready and we packed up. The car ride was awkward and something just seemed… off. He dropped us off at my parents’ business and I was afraid my mother was going to tell my father that Mr. Bodyguard was in the bedroom when I woke up. I hadn’t done anything wrong that night. I had no idea how he ended up laying there, on top of the covers right across the foot of the bed. I didn’t understand why my mother was just sitting in the living room facing the bedroom door when I woke up. Nothing made any sense, but I was afraid I would be the one who would be in BIG trouble if my mother told my father. He wasn’t happy about us going out to the cabin without him. But, nothing was said about what happened. The only time I remember it being brought up was when my mother threatened me (she did that a lot when I didn’t want do something she wanted me to do). I remember her saying, “I’ll tell your dad you slept with (Mr. Bodyguard).” I was mortified! I KNEW nothing had happened that night, but my father would never believe me over my mother. I had never “slept” with him. I was under the covers and fully dressed. He was fully dressed, on top of the covers and laying across the foot of the bed. NOTHING had happened between us that night.
My parents wanted Mr. Bodyguard to be in charge of security for their business. I believe he was kinda hesitant about taking the job my parents offered him. He didn’t need it, he had a good job. He finally agreed, but he kept his main job working overnight for the security company. This arrangement worked out pretty well for my parents as they no longer needed to hire outside security. Mr. Bodyguard and I saw each other even more now that we were also working together. This was going to be a good thing. He did a fantastic job. I felt safe having my Man around. He always looked so handsome and tough. I never had to worry about anything with him around. He could kill a man with his bare hands. He didn’t even need his gun. I was in awe of him.
Mr. Bodyguard wanted to marry me. He had let me go once and he made sure I knew that I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had totally won back my trust and my heart. I was so in love with him. I really wanted to marry him. We started planning to get married. I didn’t want a huge wedding. Just our family, at night in the church. I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle and perform the ceremony. I didn’t even want bridesmaids, I asked my mother to be my matron of honor. She was the closest thing I had to a sister or close female friend. She would love getting a pretty dress and all the attention. She was even going to get her own sparkly hand-made veil/headpiece. It was a little over the top, but I would let her wear whatever she wanted. I didn’t need the attention, I only wanted to be with my Man. Mr. Bodyguard wanted his father to be his best man. His father was his best male friend. It was just going to be an intimate little ceremony. I picked out a beautiful, yet simple ankle length white lace dress and my mother gave me her wedding veil. We went to see a lady about making the wedding cake and mints. I ordered the wedding invitations. They were the most beautiful wedding invitations I have ever seen. I also ordered little scrolls with ribbon to hand out to our guests and napkins with our names and wedding date on them. Even though I wasn’t planning a huge event, I wanted the same details and beauty as if it was. This was very important to me. My grandmother and my aunt made me a beautiful wedding bouquet to carry, a bouquet for my mother, and boutonnieres for the men. It was going to be simple and perfect. I was so happy.
My wedding would be different from anything my family was used to. I’m not flashy or super social like the rest of my family. They like lots of attention, huge displays and big crowds watching them. They liked to be KNOWN. I didn’t need any of that or the attention, I only wanted to be with my Man, my God and the people we loved. This was a very sacred moment and I wanted it to be holy and intimate. I hated drama. I longed for peace and a simple, NORMAL life.
Mr. Bodyguard’s mother was such a great example of a good Christian woman who took care of her home and family. She had a peace about her, a softness and a humbleness that was very comforting. She always made time for me. She gave me good advice and treated me like a daughter. I loved her and wished I was more like her. She took me shopping for a wedding gift and explained what good pots and pans were. I picked out the stainless steel pots and pans she showed me. She asked me when we were going to get married. Her son had moved up the wedding date. He kinda seemed in a hurry to get married. I would marry him anytime. I couldn’t wait to be his wife.
On Halloween night, nearly one month before the wedding, Mr. Bodyguard (my Fiancé) came to see me at work before his patrol shift. He was in his uniform and we were talking. I don’t believe there were any customers there at the time. All of the sudden, my parents came from my father’s office and they were arguing. They passed us and walked towards my mother’s office on the other side of the building. I was so embarrassed. I had never seen them carry on like this in front of anyone who wasn’t actually family. However, this argument was different. I couldn’t believe they were acting like this in front of him. I didn’t want them to scare him off. I knew how they behaved, but he did not. He had already vanished on me for 3 months, I didn’t need them giving him a reason to do it again. They were so loud. Finally, they came to the counter and my father began to tell us what they were arguing about. He said that my mother had kissed another man.
“A Kiss, by itself, is loaded with far more depth and meaning than sex.”
I looked over at my Fiancé and apologized. This was so humiliating. I looked back at my parents in shock. My Father looked almost in disbelief. He was so upset in fact that he had brought me AND my Fiancé in on what should have been a private matter between him and my mother. I couldn’t believe they were doing this in front of us. My father demanded to know who she had kissed. She just stood there, like a stone. No emotion. He asked her if she loved the man and she said, “Yes.” He asked her why she wasn’t with this man that she loved. She told him that the man didn’t love her, he was in love with someone else. It was so sad. My father is a very good man. He adores my mother. He is the ONE man on earth I can actually say with 99.9% certainty that he would NEVER do anything with a woman who wasn’t his wife. This was just… heartbreaking. My father tried to get her to tell him who the man was. Nothing. He finally said the name of his most loyal male friend, “No.” she said as she stared straight ahead. This was extremely difficult to watch. My father kept looking at me as if I could help in some way. I tried to help, but there was nothing I could do. She was just cold and showed no remorse. She was breaking my father’s heart and she wouldn’t even tell him what he wanted to know. She wouldn’t tell him who this man was that she was so “in love” with. She wouldn’t tell him anything. No name… nothing. And she didn’t seem the least bit sorry for it either. They began arguing again and went into her office.
I was beyond embarrassed. My Fiancé and I started walking towards the bathrooms. As I was trying to talk to him, he stopped me. I looked at his face and he looked like he was about to go crazy. He needed to tell me something. He had to tell me something right now. Okay, whatever it was, it sure seemed important. We stopped walking. He looked at me and said, “It was me.” I thought for a second… what was him? What was he saying? Wait… no, no, noooooo! Not HIM!!! Not my Fiancé!!! No, please…. no!!! OH. MY. WORD. How could she?!! I looked into his eyes and I knew. It was written all over his face. My mother had kissed him and he was the man she said she loved. Overcome with emotion, I dropped straight down to the floor and let out a scream so loud that my father came bursting around the corner to see what was going on. My father took one look at me and he knew. He finally had an answer. He turned to my mother and said, “(Her name), you didn’t.” Oh yes, she most certainly did…
*My thoughts, my feelings, my story and my opinions are my own. I don’t want to cause any trouble for my family members who are preachers and the ministries they have built. I love and respect them. It is not my desire to hurt anyone or the images they have made for themselves. That being said, I am not above or beneath anyone and I have a right to share my story just like anyone else.
Amazed By His Grace,