“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” ~ Maya Angelou
I had never seen such a display of love before. Sitting on the counter at my work was the biggest flower arrangement I have ever received. It was THREE DOZEN long-stemmed red roses in a huge vase. I have no idea how much that “I’m so sorry” gift set Mr. Bodyguard back, but it worked. He sent me one dozen for every month he had been gone. I had no idea why he had vanished, but he was forgiven. I LOVED his grand gestures. No man ever did the things he did to show me just how much he loved me. I had to completely let go of Mr. Fantasy and it wasn’t easy. Mr. Bodyguard was right there holding my hand and showering me with tokens of love the entire time.
He was back. He was serious and he could explain. He eventually told me that the reason he had vanished was because he had never felt what he felt before and that when he shook my hand the night we met, it was like, “goosebumps going inward instead of outward”. It was love at first sight for both of us. It was pure… magic. He had fallen for me during our time together and he was scared of how intense his feelings were. I had no idea that was why he had broken my heart and vanished without a trace. I found out that he had indeed been out doing yard work before he got in the car and made an appearance at my 18th birthday party. I think he saw my new boyfriend Mr. Fantasy (the complete opposite of himself) in the parking lot carrying in a dozen red roses for me and he knew I was moving on. Then, he watched us the whole time during the party. He was going to win me back. Along with the Bible and letter, he had now tripled Mr. Fantasy’s gift and he wasted no time letting me know how he felt about me. The man who had saved me, the man who had given me my life back, the man who made me want to live was back. My BEST friend was back. I opened my heart to him once again and I forgave him.
I loved spending time with Mr. Bodyguard and his family. I loved them all. He even invited me to go on ride-alongs on some of his overnight shifts. I got to see his mother who was a dispatcher at the security company, and I saw his father while we were out on patrol. Sometimes, it was scary when Mr. Bodyguard had to go assist other security officers and they may be putting someone in handcuffs or dealing with unruly characters. It was so cool to be on the OTHER side of things instead of being with a bad guy like Mr. Godfather. We would talk in between his patrol stops. He took his work very seriously. He was so professional. I really admired his work ethic and how much ambition he had. The sun would come up just as he was finishing his shift. After work, he would take me home. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to be at work until around 1 p.m. usually.
Mr. Bodyguard came to see me at work all the time. If it was before his shift, he would be dressed in his uniform. What girl doesn’t like a man in uniform? He was so good-looking… no, he was hot. I loved how strong he was. He was just as handsome as ever in his jeans with his gun on his hip. His gorgeous blue eyes were back and they were focused on me. After awhile, being in his arms again was almost as if nothing had ever happened. He drew me right back in and I fell in love with him all over. The love that I had for him had never gone away, I had just ignored it. It was a love I never knew existed. It was strong, very strong and overwhelming. In fact, I hated that I loved him like I did. I hated a man having power over me like that and vanishing on me for three months.
The good thing was, I wasn’t the same girl that he had pulled from the dark place. I was stronger now. I knew I could live with or without him. I didn’t need him…I just wanted him.
He had won back my trust. I trusted him completely. Some nights, he would give me a ride home after I got out of work. Usually, I rode with my parents or one of my brothers. I loved riding with Mr. Bodyguard in his beautiful Camaro and blasting Chicago through the speakers. If we got home before my parents or brothers, we would wait for them outside (I didn’t have a house key). I was usually exhausted. I liked to lay back while looking at the beautiful night sky and twinkling stars.
My parents were happy that Mr. Bodyguard was back. He and I were raised in church. We had the same core beliefs and knew right from wrong. He and I sat together at church while my father preached. He got along well with my brothers. They always acted more like brothers than friends anyways. My mother was especially fond of him. He fit right in. Everyone was happy now. However, there was a lot of stress. Running a business and a church was a lot. We had taken on quite a bit and we NEVER took family vacations. Ever. A friend of my parents offered us a night at a property they owned with cabins next to a lake. It was beautiful. We decided to all go for a night and relax. My parents and I stayed in one cabin. My brothers who were both recently divorced and Mr. Bodyguard stayed in the cabin next door. We all had been through a lot and this little getaway was so much fun. It was just one night and part of a day on the lake. Then, it was right back to work.
The short time we had spent at the cabin was not enough. Soon, my mother and I really wanted to go back for one night. My father did not. He must have had other plans. Mr. Bodyguard didn’t want to go. I believe he was very tired and not in the best mood. My brothers weren’t going either. Once out to the lake was fine, but NONE of the men were willing to go with us. Not that night anyways. I was going to drop it, but my mother convinced Mr. Bodyguard over the phone to take us. Reluctantly, he picked her and I up in his beautiful sports car, and out to the cabin we went. The entire evening he and my mother were looking for my father to pull up in front of the cabin. I KNEW he wasn’t coming. I had heard him talking with my mother and how adamant he was about not going. He wasn’t happy we had taken off with Mr. Bodyguard and I was puzzled when I saw my mother going to the window, looking out and saying that my father should be there anytime or she wondered where he was… etc. It was so awkward just the three of us hanging out and watching movies. Mr. Bodyguard clearly didn’t want to be there without my dad or brothers. That night, we all three went to bed. There were two bedrooms. Mr. Bodyguard took the bedroom in the middle of the cabin next to the bathroom. That bedroom had a bunk bed. My mother and I took the master bedroom in the front of the cabin. It had a big bed and was right next to the living room. Laying next to my mother, I went to sleep. Early the next morning, I awoke to find Mr. Bodyguard laying at my feet across the foot of the bed and my mother was no where in sight…
*My thoughts, my feelings, my story and my opinions are my own. I don’t want to cause any trouble for my family members who are preachers and the ministries they have built. I love and respect them. It is not my desire to hurt anyone or the images they have made for themselves. That being said, I am not above or beneath anyone and I have a right to share my story just like anyone else.
Amazed By His Grace,