“It takes a real man to see the difference between a diamond and a rhinestone. Can’t be mad when someone else takes the diamond, that you treated like a rhinestone.”
As I admired the beautiful red roses Mr. Fantasy had given me for my Birthday, they were placed on a large table with my birthday cake. I don’t remember him ever giving me roses prior to that, so this arrangement was VERY special to me. Him just being there was the best birthday gift EVER. People were beginning to arrive for my party. As I looked up, there he was, my Ex-boyfriend… Mr. Bodyguard . I hadn’t seen or heard from him in almost THREE MONTHS. Not only did he come, his parents, his oldest sister (whom I loved) and his brother-in-law also came walking through the doors. I was happy to see them. I loved his family, they were so sweet. Mr. Bodyguard wasn’t so sweet. I believe he had been watching in the parking lot and saw my gorgeous new boyfriend Mr. Fantasy carrying in the roses. Not only was my sexy as can be rocker boyfriend there, I was surrounded by guys that I had become friends with through the business. I am sure my Ex-boyfriend never saw that coming when he decided to show up in his shorts and tank top. I think he had been out doing yard work and decided to make an appearance, maybe by the prompting of his parents. I honestly have no idea why he really showed up.
It was my 18th birthday and I was finally having a party like other people had. This was so not the normal, “Cake and ice cream will be served after service in the back for (Pastor’s daughter). Make sure you stop by and wish her a happy birthday!” This party was going to be an actual party, the business is closed tonight, let’s have some fun kind of party. I had never asked for anything like it before. A lot of people showed up. It was amazing. So many people were there just for me. People from Church, people who knew me from the business, my friends, and my family were all there to celebrate my life. The life I had almost lost just months before at the hands of Mr. Godfather . I was touched by the outpouring of love from everyone who came up hugging on me, talking to me, and giving me the most thoughtful gifts. It was the best birthday I ever had.
My oldest brother grabbed a video camera and was going around getting footage of this party that no one probably realized was gonna be so big. I definitely had no idea people cared about me like that. The attention was a little overwhelming, but in a good way. My family, they LOVE being in front of people, attention, all eyes on them, and being on camera. Not me though. I was shy and I didn’t like to smile for pictures at all. I hate lots of attention. During the “Happy Birthday” song on the video, I look like I would rather go hide under a table! I have always disliked people singing to me and looking at me all at once. I prefer… one on one conversations I guess. It was my day and yet, I just really wanted people to have fun. I was more concerned with my guests and going around making sure they were all okay. On the video, I can be heard asking, “Are you having fun?” as I smile and check on people. When I get to Mr. Bodyguard, I think we kinda hug and then I say to the person holding the camera, “He’s a good guy.” I knew there was this, “Oh look, there’s the guy who broke our sister’s heart and vanished without a trace for the past 3 months. Get him!” playful attitude coming from my brothers. My Ex-boyfriend looks like he wants to get AWAY from them. It’s pretty funny to watch back on the video actually.
I’m so thankful my brothers got as much footage as they did. That video is like gold to me. The birthday messages were so thoughtful. One of my favorites, was my step-grandpa’s sister’s advice she always gave with a smile, “Keep loving Jesus, (my name)!” I never forgot it. Best advice ever. She never knew the effect she had on me. She was such a sweet woman.
I was wearing one of Mr. Fantasy’s black button up shirts with a black tank top underneath, tight blue jeans and black boots. I had curled my hair and used lots of hairspray. Other than the party, the only gift I asked my parents for was one white rose dipped in purple. I had never seen one, but purple is my favorite color and I wanted something unique. That’s exactly what I got (thank you mom & dad <3)…
Mr. Bodyguard was cold and distant, yet he came over and sat down behind me at one point. He barely spoke to me at all. No explanation, no “I’m sorry”, nothing. He kept a close eye on my new boyfriend that night. I think he was shocked I had moved on with Mr. Fantasy and that there were so many good-looking guys there. I certainly wasn’t crying my eyes out over him now. His sister helped me with keeping track of who gave me what so I could send out thank you notes to everyone. She was such a big help to me that night. It was nice having her there with me and almost like old times. Mr. Bodyguard ‘s parents were so kind and gave me a nice gift. My dad and his dad talked a lot. Other than the awkward tension between him and I, everyone seemed to be having have a good time.
“The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him.”
Mr. Fantasy stayed right with me while I opened my gifts and he made me laugh. He was wearing a white shirt like the black one he had loaned me to wear and blue jeans like me. We matched. He made me feel comfortable, safe and loved. He was my rock that night. Whenever I felt nervous, embarrassed or overwhelmed, I could just grab onto him and feel his gentle calmness. I could take a breath and refocus my attention away from the cocky attitude of my Ex who was sitting right behind me with his arms crossed, watching every move I made. I leaned on Mr. Fantasy and he made everything I had been through almost fade away. This was a new me. I was an adult now, I could make my own decisions and I knew exactly what I wanted, I wanted him. I was ready to make a life with him. I loved him so much. I wanted to make him happy forever. I was ready to be his wife and finally out what it was like to make actual love to a man. I knew our wedding night would be every bit as amazing as our relationship. Our marriage would be work of course, but I would have worked “overtime” for that man. The smile he put on my face, no man could wipe off. He wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t perfect, but together we made perfect sense. He was my Man.
The next day, I was at work when the phone rang. I picked it up and on the other end I heard a very familiar voice, it was Mr. Bodyguard and he wanted to talk…
Amazed By His Grace,