“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”
Moving on after Mr. Godfather was hard. He was still in my head, day after day, night after night… he was always there. He left scars on my soul and they were deep, they were so deep. I was sinking even farther down into my dark place and no one could pull me out. I honestly think that no one in my family knew what to do with me. I was just… broken.
“The wounds you can’t see are hardest to heal.”
While I was working one night, I saw a gentleman around my father’s age walking up to the counter. He was from the security company my parents had hired and he had come to check on the armed guard who was on duty that night. I had been so sad and shaken up after my terrifying experience with Mr. Godfather. I was still very bitter towards men and I was recovering from all that had happened. Having an armed guard at the front entrance made me feel a little better. While this nice gentleman was there, he wanted to meet my parents and was introducing himself. He stayed awhile and talked. He was so nice and happy. He was one of those people you love to be around and they make you smile. We got along very well. I was withdrawn, but his smile was contagious and he made me laugh. I really enjoyed his visit.
Soon after that night, I was busy working when I saw him… Mr. Bodyguard. He was coming from the main entrance and looking around. I believe he may have stopped and spoke to the armed guard on duty. Mr. Bodyguard looked like a younger version of the older gentleman I had met from the security company. He was very handsome, clean-cut, strong and he walked with confidence. I was immediately drawn to him. His smile could light up the room. I fell in love with him at first sight. He made his way over to where some of my family was and I heard him introduce himself. He was the son of the older gentleman who had come in recently to check on the guard. He also worked for the security company. Little did I know, his father had convinced him to come meet me. I was behind the counter when I looked up and saw him reach his hand out to shake mine. When our hands touched, there was no denying it. Magic… pure magic. I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes and I fell HARD for him.
He came in again, this time he was with both of his parents. I got to meet his mother. She was very kind to me. I felt so comfortable around his parents. The whole time Mr. Bodyguard was there, I would glance over at him. He kept looking at me too. We couldn’t stop looking at each other. After all of the abusive things Mr. Godfather had done to me and the sick things he had made me do, I felt unworthy of love from a good Christian man. Mr. Bodyguard looked like a VERY good man. His parents were good Christian people who were looking for a new Church. They decided to visit our Church one Sunday. I was thrilled to see them. It felt like being with family whenever they were around. Mr. Bodyguard wanted to spend some time with me and he came to visit me one night while I was working. I was happy to see him, but I was shy around him. He made me nervous in a good way. I took a break to talk with him and get to know each other a little better. There were lots of people coming in, but I stayed with him. I had buried myself in my work so much, it was nice to escape for a moment. He knew I had been in a very abusive relationship and he was making me laugh. Usually, I was looking around and terrified that Mr. Godfather or one of his “boys” would come for me. I was always looking at the main entrance and at the endless sea of faces that came in and out. This night though, I had gotten a little lost in Mr. Bodyguard’s eyes. Finally, I noticed that it had gotten very busy. Just as I turned around, I saw Mr. Godfather’s sister coming from the bathroom area carrying a backpack and she had a friend with her. They walked right past us towards the exit.
I hadn’t seen anyone I knew from that part of my life since the night Mr. Godfather was arrested. I knew he was either there himself or that he may have sent his sister in to watch me. The security guard wasn’t looking for the sister. They were instructed to look for him and his main friend. They were the only two people I had pictures of. There were so many people and I wasn’t certain the guard would see the two men in the crowd. I was petrified. I managed to turn around and with a look of horror, I began to say something like, “He’s here… oh no, he’s here…”. I hadn’t even tried to date or spend time with a man since I had broken up with him. Just when I had tried to relax, the sister was watching me. She saw me laughing and talking with Mr. Bodyguard. Out the door she went and I knew I was in trouble. Mr. Bodyguard just smiled. He wasn’t afraid. He was dressed in his regular clothes, but he carried his gun on his side. I looked up at him thinking he didn’t quite understand the seriousness of the situation. I needed to get him out of there before I put him in danger along with me. I tried to get him to understand. Nope. He just went on smiling and being confident. Out of sheer desperation, I looked up at him and said, “HE’S CRAZY!” I needed to run and hide like I did last time, but Mr. Bodyguard got this serious look on his face. He looked straight into my eyes, patted his side and said, “I can be crazy too.” This was a defining moment. He wasn’t playing. He wasn’t scared. He was dead serious. He was there for me and no one was going to scare him off. I stared at him for a second and I knew. He wanted me to know that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. He would protect me. Whatever he had to do, he would do it. I fell even more in love with him and at that moment, I knew I could trust him with my life…
Amazed By His Grace,